From Texting to Telepathy in 8 Easy Steps

So I have this new theory that text messaging will lead to a global need for mental telepathy. The way I see it, abbreviating words and sentences as a normal way to communicate will lead to abbreviating entire paragraphs until eventually we won’t have to “write” anything at all. (I created a chart/comic strip that illustrates this theory at the end of this blog…please see if you read nothing else.)

A Ridiculously Brief History of Message Making
First, a really long time ago, we had to make sounds with our mouths to communicate “things”. (You would have to be in front of someone so they could understand though.) Then, we created a code, a system that would replicate the same message in what we would later call letterforms. This was a pretty big step; mapping the sounds and meanings and making a system that a lot of people would agree to and of course, use. That way you wouldn’t have to be in front of someone to tell them you love them. (You could send them a handy block of stone instead). Even though it might take a long time to get a chisel and carve out the words (or you had to sit for a really long time with quills and write on cumbersome stuff like papyrus or parchment) this new “code” could communicate whatever message you wanted, to someone who wasn’t around at the time that you said it. Pretty handy.

Fast forward to 1865 and Gutenberg changes the whole thing when he created a machine that could reproduce those letterform codes mechanically on (not so) cumbersome pieces of paper and ultimately produce millions of the same exact message at once. The Bible was the first thing he printed. (BTY, explains a lot.)

China on the Phone
By the end of the 19th century, the telephone was the big thing. This is probably hard to imagine, but for the first time in history, you were able to hear a voice, in real time, that was sitting thousands of miles away from you and when they said “I love you” the 8000 miles between your couch and their couch in Hong Kong, sort of disappeared. And then, of course, by the end of the 20th century, telephones were in your coat pocket, the mobile was born, computers got really small and…blah blah blah. You obviously know all about that stuff so I won’t go WMHGB.

Telephones and computer technology made the text message possible; by the end of the 20th century text messaging is preferred to speaking with voices, so to speak, which is pretty much where we are today… Instant and almost invisible, it doesn’t matter where you are, what you’re doing, or even if you were moving (really fast), you’re connected. You can look like you’re sitting in that boring staff meeting, 10am Monday morning, but you’re really finding out where your boyfriend will meet you at 7pm that night.

Look Ma, No Hands! The Chip in Your Head Will Text FOR You! (IM2BZ2P)
But what if you have two large lattes in both hands while you need to reach out? I’m pretty sure in the very near future, you’ll just have to think of your boyfriend (because you want to find out where to meet him later) and the answer will just appear in your head, thanks to a tiny computer chip you have there. Instead of having to put the lattes down (!), you’ll receive a picture of the bar he’ll be at, and a clock with hands that say the time. It might even show up in HiDef, so confusion will be impossible. Your chip might come in colors too (a simple in-office visit will embed it during your lunch time), and you’ll be charged monthly for the service, like cable. Hey, what if you’ll even be able to wear a cute little 3D logo on the side of your forehead, so all your friends will know you’re hooked up! Over time, chips will get even more “entertaining” and you’ll be able to stop thinking entirely! (From the looks of Facebook walls these days, many have begun this part already). There will be a chip for everyone’s budget too. Cheaper versions would only send voice messages, not pictures, though.

All these and maybe more “great” possibilities of texting in our evolution remain to be seen. I’m not sure what happens to people like me though, since I still think in longhand. Most of the stuff I ponder doesn’t seem to be the same stuff other people think so texting lingo doesn’t work so well for me. Acronyms haven’t been invented for what goes on in my head…so EIIUTIWHTT4Y (even if I used them, I would have to translate them for you.) So, personally, I’d like to skip over the texting part and get right to the mind-reading, telepathy part (without the chip embed, TIA) but then, I’m one of those people who knows all about Remote Viewing already and besides, I love the all-natural “go chipless” idea.

Whichever way you want to say it, seems to me that the PEBHAH (problem exists between head and heart) and no amount of shortening a message can make that message more compelling or interesting. If it starts out from an under-used cranium, it comes out predictable, mundane and unquestioned by equally under-used craniums at the other end.

I say forget texting, you need TDM machines for that. Figure out the power of that thing you’ve got sitting between your ears and bring on TELEPATHY…it’s fashionably green and a lot cheaper too (unless you opt for the chip, which I strongly don’t recommend).

PS. Dedicated to Marshall McLuhan who was born the same year as my father (1911) and way ahead of his time too. And all this may make much more sense in 2070, when TimeWaner sells the chip at RiteAid…

EZ TRANSLATIONS for the longhanded few:
WMHGB: where men have gone before
IM2BZ2P: I’m too busy to (even) pee
TIA: thanks in advance
TDM: too darn many